"You called me strong, you called me weak,
But still your secrets I will keep.
You took for granted all the times I never let you down.
You stumbled in and bumped your head,
If not for me then you'd be dead,
I picked you up and put you back
On solid ground.
If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman?
If I’m alive and well, will you be there holding my hand?
I’ll keep you by my side with my superhuman might,
Kryptonite..."

-"Kryptonite" by 3 Doors Down

Never been this sick in a long long while...4 days of fever and then cough, pounding headache and a bad sore throat. But at least, I'm better now and things are working out just fine.

During this period of sickness, got to slow things down and really reflect back on the years that I've lived. Did I live a good life? I wouldn't quite say so. I've been through ups and downs, some things I really regretted doing or not doing and there are some I was glad to have done or not have done because it leads to memories that I truly cherished. I would give up anything just to relive those moments once more. But what's the point? They are the past and one shouldn't be dwelling in it but learning from it. And yeah, if I hadn't made those mistakes, I wouldn't be who I am, where I am now.

I thought of all the arguments I had with people and broken relationships and I wonder what went wrong. Was it me? Or something else? Maybe the two of us were at fault...yet the more I think, the more I feel as though I allow people to take advantage of me, climb all over my head and I'll still be smiling. Which brings me back to the song above.

Who can I really count as my friends, those that stood by me despite my difference in the things that I choose to do, the things I choose to believe and such?

Maybe there are times I was just desperate to keep the friendship going when in truth, there is no more friendship. In a way, I'm glad I fell sick because it forces me to think and reflect. Maybe improve myself, be a better man. A better friend, a better daughter, a better sister, a better Christian. Life has really tamed me down, now that I have the time to read back to my first few journals when I was still in Primary School. It has really wisened me as well, though I admit I think I am still naive and I have a lot to learn from the people around me and especially, my mentor and my mentee.

I'm glad I didn't go to JC for the first three months. I've really had this time to find my ground, establish my identity and self-confidence. I feel recuperated to face the next phase of my life and I'm ready to go out there and just show what I'm made of to the world.

Guess that's it. Take care all.

Today cell outing, we went to TP to play...badminton!

Haha. I think all of you are quite surprise as why I would actually pick up my racket and bring it to play at the court. Well, it's because I won't be the only idiot trying to serve the ball to the other side of the net. Heh, me and my mentee sucks at badminton so we thought, ok, we'll go together.

Besides, Bob agreed to coach me. Such a nice guy. =D

Bob is really good at coaching. Because I LEARN SO MANY NEW THINGS!!

Ahaha! Hey, at least I can continue hitting the shuttlecock. I'm still learning to smack the shuttlecock down but at least I can judge the dist and hit back. So maybe I can play better. If you guys decide to play badminton one day.

One thing I'm trying to learn though. Bob distracts his opponents by stamping his feet. The first time he did that, I jumped (well, the sound echoed over and over again...). I missed the shuttlecock. Heh. But oh wells, I did learn something so that was quite productive. Then we had bubble tea and pizza and sat at the stadium talking.

Aye, it's 11pm. Better go off now.

Just when I thought things have settled down...yeah well...

Ok. It's been confirmed just of late that I won't be around from 3 May to 18 May. My flight's at 5.10pm on Tuesday 3 May and will be back at 4.05pm on Wednesday 18 May.

Which means I have to postpone my dental appointment. WOW. Oh hey! I get to rush back in time for Cell on Wednesday!! Ahahas. Oh wait. There's no cell in the month of May due to Real life series.. Well, that's something to look forward to.

I'm going over to China, Guangzhou to meet my, uh, great grandmother who can only speak hakka. T-T But well, my maternal grandma will be there to translate for me and my mum. And she fusses over me a lot, gives me a lot of attention, treats me like a royalty. Heh. Well, it would be a nice change of environment I guess. I'll try to learn as much about China (and possibly learn to speak hakka and chinese with that 'accent' as well, oh joy) as possible. Are there still communists at Guangzhou? Hahas. Sorry. I realise that was really really not funny at all.

Anyways. After that, or before that, I'll be going to Hong Kong to meet my cousins. Heard the house is near the beach so I can go sun tan daily. Whee! I can go jogging everyday too! Eat dimsum, go shopping, excercise by the sea, help in my cousins' homework and her ballet...I'll find it interesting I hope.

But this sudden change of plan means a lot of change of my original plan. Gah! Now, I have to rush through to do things, settle some things and clarify others. Got to take care of my duties and pass them temporarily to others to help take over.

That means, Cartan, you and I have to meet up soon if we want to give the belated presents to Pat since I'll be leaving in a few weeks' time. Or I can meet up with you and pass you the present first and see when you're free then you can go down to SAC to pass it to her because meetings clash with her church services so I won't be able to see her in church.

Anyways, you can still email me and stuff like that. There's a computer in my cousins' house in Hong Kong and I think there's one in my great grandmother's place too. I'll try to update my blog and reply your emails and whathaveyou in China and Hong Kong.

So yup. Till then I guess.

School has started for the JCs and orientation is pending for Polys. What am I doing? Staying home to read and read and read. Surf the net once in a while, play online games.

Life's good, alright.

No, I'm serious. Life is nice the way it is. Reading and surfing the net.

Speaking of which...I happen to stumble upon this. Alaska is allowing 900 wolves to be killed by aerial killing. There is a petition going on now to protest against this, done by the Defenders of Wildlife Org. So even though this takes place in Alaska and we're all the way in Singapore, please do your part and join in the petition because slaughtering is WRONG. I don't know if there would be any...political clashes or such things if we join in to help but the petition is not restricted to only U.S people so...since it isn't restricted, I suppose it should be alright. Do have a heart people...these wolves don't deserve to die such a death any more than babies deserve to be abandoned by their mothers.

Ok, so what is aerial killing? It's basically hunting from aerial view. Hunters get on helicopters or planes and chase these wolves, using their guns to shoot them at point blank range. And what do the wolves do? Well, they run and run and run and pray the bullet isn't heading their way. Against the white snow, these animals cannot hide because...their fur is brownish in colour and that is an obvious contrast to white. Even those who fail arts would know that, right? So the wolves are helpless while the hunters attempt to look good while shooting and trying not to fall off the plane.

It's a barbaric act.

And Alaska is allowing up to 900 wolves to be killed this way (compared to 250 wolves killed last winter), by this activity some of us, homo sapiens, so sadistically want to engage in. There's even a video taping on the website featuring this game HOWEVER this video is GRAPHICAL so if you're squirmmish, I suggest you don't watch it.

Or you could. And then you'll be really determined to save these wolves. For more details about this, go to their website (the link is below) and read up on the article.

So anyways. You could also read up on their privacy policy in case you don't feel at ease writing your name and address down to join in the petition and need some assurance. Unless your parents allow (or you have a credit card), you don't have to join in the donation- $25 can save a wolf. Oh, and please do pass it on to the people you know.

The choice is up to you. Here's the address: http://defenders.spacely.com/alerts/alertsmain.cfm?alertID=23

Have a good day.

Ahaha.

I finally got myself a new template, put up the links and did the archive myself! Whee!!Ok, I'll admit, I had a little help from my sister but...most of the work (other than the uploading of the image) was done by yours truly. What an improvement eh?

Anyways. If I have left out anybody's link, please don't be, uh, disappointed because I do have quite a short-term memory. Sometimes. So if you would kindly let me know by any means, through a call, through the tag-board, through sms or you can even talk to me face to face, I shall try to sympathise with you and of course, I will link to your blog as well.

Enough of the nonsense.

Been reading through my previous entries and...have I changed?

Maybe.

There was a saying once about how you would become like your enemies so be careful who you choose as your enemy and I think it's quite true. Because when I read back on my first few entries...I do sound like the very person I detest.

I even swore when I'm not suppose to. Gah! I'm sorry, I shan't do that anymore.

And anyway, I think I settled and quietened down a lot since school ended. When I was having school, I sounded pretty paranoid like I'm a schizoid or something. Now, I probably sounded lazy. But oh wells. That goes to show school has bad influences on us and I hope someone does a survey about this and report it back to the MOE. Ouch. I sound like my sister now.

Well, I guess there's nothing else, stressed out by the Poly enrolment package, argh! >.< Have a nice day.

"Heaven help the child who never had a home,
Heaven help the girl who walks the street alone.
Heaven help the roses if the bombs begin to fall,
Heaven help us all.
Heaven help the black man if he struggles one more day,
Heaven help the white man if he turns his back away,
Heaven help the man who kicks the man who has to crawl,
Heaven help us all.
Heaven help us all, heaven help us all, help us all.
Heaven help us, Lord, hear our call when we call.
Oh, yeah!Heaven help the boy who won't reach twenty-one,
Heaven help the man who gave that boy a gun.
Heaven help the people with their backs against the wall,
Lord, Heaven help us all.
Heaven help us all, heaven help us all, heaven help us all, help us all.
Heaven help us, Lord, hear our call when we call.
Now I lay me down before I go to sleep.
In a troubled world, I pray the Lord to keep,
Keep hatred from the mighty and the mighty from the small,
Heaven help us all,oh, oh, oh, yeah!Heaven help us all."
- "Heaven help us all" by Ray Charles and Gladys Knight

I suppose one might be surprised that I am a fan of jazz. My father loves jazz and that, I guess, influenced me to love it as well. It's not as slow as classical and not as upbeat as pop...you could say jazz is like...lazy rock. Of course, that is only one kind of jazz. Jazz is a free expression of your love for the piece of music in front of you, different interpretations for different people...much like free style and modern dance I guess. Ray Charles is one of the best singers I've come across, other than popular names like Frank Sinatra, Ben.E. King, Diana Krall...truthfully...singers like Simple Plan, Britney Spears and what have you, they are incomparable to these singers. Because these singers really have the talent of singing and their passion for it is so evident in their voices and their performances. Who needs music videos if you can simple do the vision just by listening to them singing?

They are the ones who could make me really want to stand up and dance to the beat. I can't help it even if it is foolish.

"Heaven help us all" is a surprisingly quite...happy sounding song but definitely worth listening to. No, I don't quite mean the lyrics but the tune of the song. I do hope people would take time to enjoy other kinds of music other than the usual modern pop and metal.